Things that Lasted Longer than the 11 Minutes Katy Perry Spent in Space
And my dignity is not one of them!
On Monday, we saw the Amazon-sponsored Girl Power Space Launch, which felt like it was peeled directly from an SNL Sketch that never made it to air. For as much guff as we gave Taylor for her emissions used during the Eras Tour, this 11-minute vanity piece of “going to space” used more emissions than she used throughout the entirety of her tour, which lasted 18 months. But didn’t they look CuUuUtE?!
This #girlboss moment feels deeply hollow and especially horrifying as the current horrific state of the world continues to unfurl around us. But hey, Katy Perry sang “What a Wonderful World” in Space during the ELEVEN minutes they spent in space. Who cares that we could have used those resources to help our schools? Better the planet? Assist the many legal citizens that this administration continues to deport? The rich need their fun!
The number Eleven hasn’t seen this much press since Netflix first dropped Stranger Things or Spinal Tap when they said the amp could go up to Eleven! Eleven is also a prime number, which I’m sure Jeff is telling the robots to announce that coincidence at any minute. As Amazon’s continued #1 hater, this made me think of just a few things that lasted longer than this PR trip to space:
-My existential crisis about going blonde during my most recent SATC rewatch
-Adrien Brody’s Oscar acceptance speech (or it felt like it)
-Jax Taylor’s first nose job
-Jax’s second nose job
-Jax’s third nose job
-A quarter in one NBA game (one quarter is 12 minutes long!)
-An episode of The Hills without ads
-How much time the Queens have to get into Quick Drag for a Mini Challenge on Rupaul’s Drag Race (I hate to tell you, but getting into full drag in 15 minutes is much much MUCH more of an accomplishment in my eyes!)
-Waiting for my order at Chipotle (specifically at Century City)
-The Prologue from Into the Woods
-Karen’s Wig on Season 3 of RHOP
-Gauchos (unfortunately)
-The 12-minute standing ovation for Elvis at Cannes
-My girl, Maria Menounos’s AMC movie pre-show: Noovie! (It simply wouldn’t be the movies without Noovie!)
-How long it takes to make the Trader Joe’s Mandarin Orange Chicken in the Air Fryer
-Dr. Robby’s attempts to pee in one hour of his shift on the Pitt
-Attempting to explain Scandoval to anyone who didn’t watch Bravo in 2023
-Logan Paul’s career (again, unfortunately)
Ultimately, this all feels so dystopian and sad as it shows that the 0.00001% is deeply disconnected from the average person. So much so, touching grass is beyond helping them; they need to touch Space to feel anything! For someone who sings about “A Woman’s World”, it feels like it’s only becoming more of a specific type of Woman’s World by the day - it’s a Woman’s World only if you’re White, Thin, and Rich.
It would be nice if we could see this sort of attention and funding being reflected on women in the Southeast who are being criminalized or in grave health danger from their miscarriages, those who are trying to escape their abusive relationships, or are just trying to afford their groceries for their family among the egregious tariffs that Trump is continuing to enact. What will a $150,000 ticket to space do to help the average woman? Nothing except to remind them that their basic needs and dreams are out of reach. Some might even say, they’re in Outer Space.
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LOLLLLL!!!